RulesMatt - Thu Apr 19, 2007 @ 04:29AM
This was posted in the dorm room of a hostel in Knysna, South Africa. I've posted verbatim.
Welcome to Highfields
Respect us and we will respect you.
- Accommodation must be paid daily. No debts are allowed.
- Check out time is 11am sharp. You will be charged an extra night's accommodation at any point thereafter.
- Please consider neighbours and fellow guests when coming after 10pm by keeping noise levels to a minumum, no matter how drunk you are.
- Office hours are from 7:30am to 9pm. All business is to be dealt with during these hours.
- Breakfast is served between 8am and 11am. You snooze you loose.
- The growing, smoking, possessing, eating, drinking, snorting and baking of Marijuana is not permitted. Unless you are a Rastafarian.
- This is a backpackers not a hotel, we don't give out towels but you can buy or rent one at reception.
- Due to inconsiderate drunken bastards the pool area is off limits between 10pm and 8am. This also helps with our anally retentive neighbour who is on a mission to shut us down.
- Snoring, rustling of bags, turning on the lights or any other inconsiderate behaviour in the dorms is entirely at your own risk.
- Please respect the hostel and its facilities and treat it like your grandmas.
- Thieves will find themselves sucking on a Glock 9mm.
- All in house activities and trips are at your own risk. Africa is not for sissies.
- If you ask a stupid question, expect a stupid answer.
- We hate people that don't do thier own washing, drying and packing away of dishes, including pots and pans. So play along and remember you contribute to a cleaner society.
- Hostel bookings will be done at 7pm, any other calls will be charged for.
- Please abide by these rules for the benefit of staff, fellow guest and neighbours.