Tall Matt's Travels

Matt - Thu Apr 19, 2007 @ 04:29AM
Comments: 6

This was posted in the dorm room of a hostel in Knysna, South Africa. I've posted verbatim.

Welcome to Highfields
Respect us and we will respect you.

  1. Accommodation must be paid daily.  No debts are allowed.

  2. Check out time is 11am sharp. You will be charged an extra night's accommodation at any point thereafter.

  3. Please consider neighbours and fellow guests when coming after 10pm by keeping noise levels to a minumum, no matter how drunk you are.

  4. Office hours are from 7:30am to 9pm. All business is to be dealt with during these hours.

  5. Breakfast is served between 8am and 11am. You snooze you loose.

  6. The growing, smoking, possessing, eating, drinking, snorting and baking of Marijuana is not permitted. Unless you are a Rastafarian.

  7. This is a backpackers not a hotel, we don't give out towels but you can buy or rent one at reception.

  8. Due to inconsiderate drunken bastards the pool area is off limits between 10pm and 8am. This also helps with our anally retentive neighbour who is on a mission to shut us down.

  9. Snoring, rustling of bags, turning on the lights or any other inconsiderate behaviour in the dorms is entirely at your own risk.

  10. Please respect the hostel and its facilities and treat it like your grandmas.

  11. Thieves will find themselves sucking on a Glock 9mm.

  12. All in house activities and trips are at your own risk. Africa is not for sissies.

  13. If you ask a stupid question, expect a stupid answer.

  14. We hate people that don't do thier own washing, drying and packing away of dishes, including pots and pans. So play along and remember you contribute to a cleaner society.

  15. Hostel bookings will be done at 7pm, any other calls will be charged for.

  16. Please abide by these rules for the benefit of staff, fellow guest and neighbours.
Comments: 6


1. Adam Cogswell   |   Thu May 10, 2007 @ 08:20AM

I think #11 is my favorite...:D

2. Matt   |   Thu May 10, 2007 @ 10:27AM

Agreed. That was the one that caused me to bust out the camera.

3. ryan r.   |   Thu May 10, 2007 @ 01:24PM

weird. i seem to remember those very same rules posted on 7th Floor, too. with the exception of #4 . . . because transformation never sleeps.

4. karen b   |   Mon May 14, 2007 @ 09:37AM

"Africa is not for sissies." I think that just about sums it up.

5. Doug   |   Mon May 21, 2007 @ 09:33AM

Did you tell them you were a Rastafarian?

6. Dustin   |   Mon Oct 08, 2007 @ 02:15PM

Rule #6 is awesome. It reminds me of the time I stayed in a boat hotel in Amsterdam. Upon check in the owner of the boat greeted us and said "There is absolutely no smoking of weed allowed on this ship.....unless you share it with me."

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